During life, there are moments when we feel the annoying feeling of being left out of the caravan. Having this sense is somewhat logical, because man is essentially a social being, and no matter how hard he tries to achieve a mental ideal, he is always reluctant to fail and fall behind. But when having this negative feeling becomes an integral part of the smallest daily occurrences, you should look for a reason.
It may happen to you that after receiving a message containing a request from a friend or colleague, you ask. Act fast. Occasionally, after being in a friendly group, you may feel useless because you do not have much to say, and you may become an insignificant member of the group.
In this article by BingMag, this We examine the annoying feeling by introducing the "main Character syndrome" and while stating the possible reasons for the occurrence of this syndrome, we offer solutions to deal with it. Join us.
What is "Main Character Syndrome"?
Erica The New York Times co-author Erica Dhawan, in a recent study of human behavior, linked the desire to always be responsive in a variety of situations to the Main personality syndrome. According to him, man's desire to appear as the Main Character of his own life, and sometimes the lives of others, forces him to be maximally present in all areas of society. In such a situation, the rest play the role of complementary characters and the burden of everything falls on the Main character.
The results of Davan's study are presented in contrast to another phenomenon that is the opposite of the Main Character syndrome. Accordingly, the prevalence of the phenomenon of "ignorance" in society is one of the most important factors in the emergence of a desire for constant accountability in humans. But additional studies by behavioral therapists at Cornell University in the United States and Business College London in the United Kingdom have shown that the syndrome is often rooted in human self-centeredness.
It should be noted that this syndrome is a nascent concept in the field of human behavior and psychology and has not yet been extensively studied scientifically. However, a fundamental scientific study of self-centeredness in humans has shown that this concept is directly related to the development of Main personality syndrome.
The most important research on self-centeredness by Jean Piaget, an active Swiss psychologist It has taken place in the field of behavioral development. The findings of Piaget's research contributed to the emergence and introduction of the concept of the "personal story of human life." Behaviorists believe that the tendency to appear as the Main Character in a life story develops during adolescence and reaches its peak in adulthood. The process of shaping a person's personality is at this critical time in life. This character, no matter how it is formed, will be with the person for the rest of his life. Thus, emphasizing one's role in life is a natural reaction during adolescence. They remain and express themselves in different ways. The most logical reason for wanting to appear as the Main Character is that we are each responsible for writing our own biography, and it is natural to want to play a major role in our lives. But we lose control of the situation when we extend this desire to the lives of others and feel that we must play a leading role in all areas, both personal and social.
Having such a desire is exemplary. It is a manifestation of extravagance and is directly related to the cultivation of a sense of self-centeredness. When you feel the need to respond as quickly as possible to a question or request from others, remember that your non-response is not going to disrupt their lives! Sometimes it is difficult to accept that we play a complementary role in the lives of others, but this acceptance is the first step in recovering from the Main Character syndrome and should not be ignored.
The desire to have a strong presence in the lives of others can It can also be very frustrating. In this regard, George and Bones, two clinical psychologists, have introduced "instant messaging error". This error occurs when you think the sender of a message needs a response much sooner than you think. In such a situation, you are no longer calm and every message plays the role of a stressor for you.
The role of "borderline" in understanding the problem of the Main Character syndrome
This syndrome is generally caused by a mismatch between the mindset of the sender of a message and the recipient. According to George and Bones, the Main cause of this incident is a kind of border crossing. In other words, The recipient of the message is so engrossed in his desire to appear as the Main Character in his life and in the lives of others that he no longer sees the boundary between his privacy and the connections he makes with others. This causes the person to be constantly trying to keep others satisfied and often unaware of themselves and their needs.
But there is a small point in this that is usually overlooked. This points to the fact that the people who ask you do not want to cross your borders, and in fact it is you who consider every message urgent to play a leading role and trample your borders to provide a proper response! So, to get rid of this syndrome and all the limitations it puts on you, you need to know your boundaries better and even redefine them. Having this syndrome has many benefits in appearance, such as increased efficiency and usefulness in social life, but its dark side makes these benefits worthless. Here are 9 general characteristics of people with the Main personality syndrome. Keep in mind that not every person with this syndrome necessarily has all of these characteristics.
- Selfishness and narcissism
- Seeking the attention, praise, and admiration of others >
- Tendency to be the center of attention
- Denying the facts and pretending to be flawless and flawed in life and its events
- Pretending to be What is desirable and pleasing to the public li>
- Looking down on others
- Considering one's own problem to be the problem of others
- Exaggerating the difficulties of buying compassion from others
- Having unrealistic expectations and Improper Neighbors
Negative Consequences of Main Character Syndrome
This syndrome is associated with several negative consequences, almost all of which are associated with weakening of the personality and narrowing of the social circle of the affected person. Here are three of these negative consequences.
To be the Main Character in a story, one has to take on many responsibilities and meet different criteria. When you decide to be the Main Character in your own life story or the story of others, you are subconsciously forced to hide some aspects of your Character or life or make them look different.
Over time, effort It becomes a habit for you to change the existing facts in order to harmonize with the story in which you play a role, and it destroys the originality of your character. In such a situation, you constantly live in fear of the revelation of the facts and the removal of the mask that you have put on to make your presence more colorful, and the quality of your life will be drastically reduced.
2. Loss of friends and acquaintances
Following the artificialization of personality and behaviors due to this syndrome, the loss of friends and acquaintances is not unexpected. The fact is that all human beings want to be loved and respected, and no one wants to play a complementary role or have a small presence in their lives or the lives of others. So, if you continue to try to play the Main character, you will sooner or later kill those around you.
If it is very difficult for you to break this habit, try to start with small but effective steps. In the first place, you can try to recognize your limits in the lives of others and be content with being the Main Character in your life. In the next steps, you can play a healthier role in your life with more precise demarcations.
One noteworthy thing about people suffering from this syndrome is that they are often unaware that their behavior is destructive. In fact, for these people, the Main Character syndrome is a kind of defense mechanism to avoid facing life problems and fractures. When we consider ourselves the Main Character of a dream story, we no longer have to get out of this deceptive bubble and try to improve the situation. But unfortunately the life of this utopia is short and it can not always be sheltered.
How can we get rid of this Syndrome?
The first step in recovering from this syndrome is to identify the causes and symptoms. If you are one of the people with this syndrome, you must agree that the most important reason for its occurrence is incomplete and weak demarcation. Many people with this syndrome have definite boundaries at first, but over time the desire to play a more important role in the lives of those around them has forced them to trample on these boundaries.
Their boundaries Redefine
As a first step, you need to re-examine your boundaries. Hold on to those that help you play a complementary role in the lives of those around you, and rebuild the broken boundaries that have forced you to overemphasize. Keep in mind that re-establishing these boundaries is not possible without communicating with others. You need to keep the rest up to date on these changes And emphasize their importance.
Reduce the time spent using social media
In the current era, the very strong impact of social media on shaping a person's personality and social image is undeniable. Improper use of virtual networks constantly exposes you to trends that you will feel backward if you do not follow them. In this situation, you try to be a mirror of What you see, and this encourages the desire to appear as the Main Character in society. Try to focus on your mental health and spend more time with those you love.
Stop romanticizing life events
They become strange and sometimes painful, but in the end they manage everything more dignified than ever. If you think of yourself as such, life will constantly blind your taste buds. Avoid extremes and do not try to justify anything with toxic positivity. Accept that life has its ups and downs, and coping with adversity is an integral part of being human.
Main Character syndrome Effective communication emerges. Having this syndrome forces the recipient of the message to deviate from the path of moderation and gives him the feeling that he must constantly strive to shine. The best way to improve this syndrome is to examine your position in your personal life and the lives of others and then delineate logically and realistically. Do not forget that healthy communication with others depends on prioritizing your peace of mind.This is for educational and informational purposes only. Be sure to consult an expert before using the recommendations in this article. For more information, read the BingMag Meg Disclaimer .
Sources: psychologytoday, aislesoflife