The definition of the concept of success has undergone many changes throughout history. The reason for this change is that the criteria for measuring the degree of success are completely dependent on the prevailing values in society, and these values are constantly changing and change the members of society. Having competition syndrome is one of the consequences of these changes.
According to field research on the life satisfaction index of people over the age of 65, many people take many paths in life, regardless of whether they are successful or not. They regret their absence. This regret can have different reasons depending on how each person lives. According to Ken Dychtwald, an American psychologist and researcher, this regret stems from the inconsistency of the current reality of life with the idealistic expectations that each person has about success in life.
In this article by BingMag Meg, we examine the philosophy of the desire to be the best and most successful in human beings. In this regard, we introduce the competition syndrome, which is rooted in the feeling of failure in the process of success, and explain its relationship with the tendency to act lower than expected. Join us.
What is "Competition Syndrome"?
Maybe for You have also come to the conclusion that after spending a relatively long time in a particular job, place or mood, you realize that spending all that energy and time was not worth it. This experience can be very painful for any human being, because it induces a feeling of failure and loss. If you look more closely at the reasons for these negative feelings, you will find that they largely depend on the changing nature of existing definitions of the concept of "success" in society.
Define appropriate social status, wealth and power. Most of them realize in middle age and old age that they have sacrificed much more important issues, such as family, true love and friendship, to achieve the values that society values. In a situation where the passage of time has made it almost impossible to make amends, kneeling before the giant of defeat is inevitable and understandable.
Failure has many negative consequences. One of the most important and obvious ones is falling into the trap of competition syndrome. Abby Eileen, an American journalist and writer, defines this syndrome as a psychological response to the unpleasant feeling of inadequacy. This syndrome manifests itself when a person fails to achieve ideal personal growth, to have healthy friendships and romantic relationships, to live happily, to have a purpose and to feel useful.
Achieving and maintaining All of these values are extremely exhausting and at times impossible, but the mind sees the inability to achieve them as a failure and instills in the person that he or she could have done much better than he or she did and did not. Is. This feeling of failure becomes more painful when one compares one's list of achievements with the achievements of others and develops a greater sense of loss.
competition syndrome is by no means specific to a particular group of people. The fact is that man's innate desire to achieve perfection and the best causes him to never be satisfied with What he has and to constantly look for better things. The most important cause of this syndrome is the comparisons that are much more serious and intense than before with the entry into the age of technology. A brief glance at social media is enough to frustrate us with our current living conditions and underestimate our achievements.
In addition, there are seemingly harmless behaviors that can contribute to this syndrome. One of the most common and at the same time destructive behaviors is to highlight the successes and abilities of oneself or others and to express excessive hope and positive thinking for their continuation in the future. Scientific findings and social observations have shown that being surrounded by people who wish to succeed in this way is often more unfortunate than a blessing.
When a person is constantly exposed to different standards He puts all his energy into not disappointing those who set those standards and does not enjoy life at all. In addition, even when those people are not present, he feels the heavy burden of their expectations and becomes frustrated and depressed about not being able to show his best self. This forms the basis of the competition syndrome.
The relationship between competition syndrome and acting below expectations
2. You are constantly procrastinating
It must have occurred to you that in situations where you have to finish writing an article, study for an important and crucial exam, or focus on serious projects, you want to do it all. Postpone and spend your time doing other unnecessary things, such as watching series or browsing social media. The most important motto of people who want to postpone work until the 90th minute is "I will start tomorrow", but it seems that "tomorrow" will never come!
Finally, you have to not miss the opportunity to deliver work. Do everything together with very low quality. You may get a good result in this process, but your back voice always reminds you that if you had a plan, you could have done much better. competition syndrome stems from these self-blame.
3. Your managerial and planning skills are extremely poor
Sometimes you show your best performance, but the result The desired is not achieved. In these cases, it is best to review the quality of your management and planning skills and reconsider their effectiveness. The fact is that even if you are the smartest and richest person around you, when you can not manage time and plan for the future, you can not do What you expect and you will be caught in the competition syndrome.
Having a simple list One of the things you need to do is take a small, yet very effective, step to improve these skills. On the other hand, scribbling the things you have done from this list gives you a sense of usefulness and success. This will motivate you to continue planning and have better performance and apply planning in all aspects of life.
4. Always looking for excuses
If you are a person who constantly acts lower than expected, you must have many reasons to make big and small excuses! The most important thing about making excuses is that one is aware of the absurdity of the reasons one gives for failure, but sees no other way. It is very difficult to give up making excuses, because in order to do it, you have to admit in the first place that the procedure you have taken is wrong, and this is not to anyone's liking. Remember that buying this difficulty once is worth a lifetime of proper and optimal performance.
5. You often use obscenities to get out of work. One of the
most common of these is fattening to lose weight. With greed, one
can convince others and put one's work on their shoulders. Of
course, do not forget that this trick does not always work
and usually comes when others call out to you and leave you alone
with the competition syndrome!
The main reasons for acting lower than expected
Now that we have introduced some of the most obvious symptoms that indicate lower than expected action, a number of reasons are needed. Let's also examine the main manifestation of this tendency. Here are six of the most common reasons for wanting to work less.
Are you afraid of the consequences of failure and even success?
Failure, despite paving the way for more effort, has never been the human desire. Basically, failure limits the safe space, and this restriction institutionalizes the fear in us that constantly manifests itself in the form of an alarm. In this regard, success can have a similar function. Success means a heavier burden of responsibility, and sometimes the fear of not being able to carry the burden prevents us from achieving more success.
Both of these feelings make you want to stay where you are and relax. Do not sacrifice stillness for the hassle of risk-taking. In this situation, you have a strong desire to cross the strict boundaries that you have defined for yourself, but the ability to destroy the illusions that prevent You do not have your way.
2. Suffering from Depression or Other Mental Disorders
If you have a history of experiencing depression or other mental disorders, such as anxiety or distraction, you know how much energy and time they feed on. . Basically, depression is associated with a decrease in energy and concentration, and this causes the quality of a person's performance in various areas to be severely reduced. On the other hand, medications prescribed to treat depression or other disorders can numb a person and make him or her unmotivated.
3. You have a fundamental problem with commitment
Success does not happen overnight, but it is a long and continuous process that requires a lot of commitment and effort. On the other hand, to be successful, you have to connect with a lot of people at home, at work or at school, and maintaining these connections requires a lot of energy. However, if you have difficulty communicating and having the commitment to maintain those connections, you are likely to face many obstacles to success. Therefore, seeing a psychologist and finding the source of weakness in commitment is the best thing you can do for yourself.
You have no agreeable personality
Pay attention to others' definitions of your personality. Do they describe you as a critical but uncritical person, a negative or a creditor? If so, you may want to reconsider your approach. As mentioned earlier, one key aspect of success is being able to communicate effectively with those who can help you succeed. Therefore, if you do not have a compromising personality and constantly want to engage with others, you can hardly dream of success and you will get competition syndrome sooner.
5. Do not focus
If you are constantly distracted by What you are doing and can not do even the simplest things correctly, you will most likely have a difficult path in the search for success. Keep in mind that lack of concentration can be rooted in the filling of wrong and destructive habits or brain disorders. Therefore, if you do not feel better about your concentration with activities such as yoga, it is best to see a psychiatrist.
6. Destructive parenting practices make change difficult
You may not consciously realize that destructive parenting practices How much can parents influence personality formation in adulthood? Parents often try to shape their children's thoughts in such a way that success as an end product is inevitable, but sometimes they make mistakes along the way that make it even impossible to get close to success. Here are four destructive parenting patterns that can lead to children acting less than expected in adulthood.
1. Astronomical Expectations: Parents' great interest in their children usually manifests itself in the appearance of a strong desire to excel in education, employment, sports, and so on. This type of mindset is associated with strict behaviors that are usually done to ensure the success of children and turn them into a tool for success for parents. If you grew up in such an environment, you probably do not have much desire to succeed in adulthood, because you are tired of this kind of life.
2. Having Excessive Expectations: Being destructive Having astronomical expectations of your children does not mean that doing the opposite can have brilliant results! The fact is that having very preconceived expectations allows children to learn from a child that others do not expect much from them and to develop a destructive habit of acting lower than expected in a way that is virtually impossible to correct in adulthood.
3. Inattention or inattention to children's activities: When a child realizes that his or her parents do not value What he or she considers an important achievement because of his or her many worries and concerns, he or she reminds himself or herself that all that effort is not worth it. Therefore, he learns to act lower than expected and will not give up this habit in adulthood.
4. Hypersensitivity: Parents who are very sensitive about all aspects of their children's lives often deliver people to society who have always grown up in a bubble away from the bites and harms of social life. In adulthood, these people find that they have not experienced enough feelings of hopelessness and failure and do not know much about how to deal with them. Therefore, they decide not to face life's problems and to perform lower than expected. Which has caused it. These reasons generally fall into two categories. The first category is related to the unrealistic expectations of society and It is the pressure they put on us to appear a superhero. The second category is directly related to our personal performance in life and the willingness or unwillingness to act lower than expected.
Keep in mind that the criteria that society defines for success depend on time and Places are different and you are never going to be a successful person by all these criteria. On the other hand, do not forget that acting lower than expected can play a very important role in the development of competition syndrome. So be vigilant and choose your life path wisely.This is for educational and informational purposes only. Be sure to consult an expert before using the recommendations in this article. For more information, read the BingMag Meg Disclaimer .
Sources: Psychologytoday, Creativitymesh