resilience is a trait that gives us the courage and strength to get through difficult times, and in many life situations such as finances, relationships, sports And the family is essential and vital. Some stages of life come and go, but the partner is the person we deliberately choose to live in the joys and hardships for the rest of our lives.
So how do we create this important quality not only in ourselves but also in our relationships? Strengthen?
What is resilience?
Resilient couples can resolve issues and challenges through interaction and dialogue, and instead of insisting on their rights, focus on They focus on calming the other person and trying to understand each other. They do not get caught up in arguments and blame, but instead nurture and nurture the relationship.
how does resilience come about?
resilience is like a muscle. Couples can learn relationship resilience and strengthen their ability. Even if no dispute is properly managed in the house where you lived before you got married and grew up, you and your spouse can still learn many troubleshooting techniques. For example, how do you calm down when you are upset? You may take a short walk around your house or listen to soft music. Use the same calming techniques instead of fighting when you and your spouse are challenged. This is the first step in changing the relationship.
The more you focus on this, the more skilled you will be and the more confident you will be in spending these moments as a wife and husband. Once you've calmed down, you can talk about the issue that is bothering you in an effective way.
Why is compliance important?
All couples experience conflict and incompatibility. Those who are incapable of repairing and resolving issues may experience lengthy arguments, hours of silence, or even days of bitter silence and bitter resentment. These behaviors do more harm to the relationship than the conflict itself.
relationship couples feel good about their relationship. They are confident that they can get through the difficult moments and that their fights and arguments will give them a deeper understanding. They also feel positive enough to ignore small issues.
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Build a relationship?
The next time you check on your angry spouse, you can see that you can hit the stop button. Ask yourself if you are now sufficiently prepared for constructive participation and intervention. If you are not ready, find a way to calm yourself down instead of being aggressive.
how can we increase our awareness and ability?
Pay attention to your heart rate and breathing. When we get angry at our spouse, our body is in a state of readiness. If you find that your body is in an emergency and ready, you will not be ready for a constructive interaction with your spouse. Practicing a mindfulness technique will reduce your anxiety levels and provide you with a tool to use in moments when your heart rate and respiration are rising.
Do you think men are more resilient or women? We all have strengths and weaknesses. In a relationship, When arguing, men are more defensive and women are more comfortable talking about their feelings. If a woman can express her feelings calmly and express her wishes in a neutral and real way, they will often find that their husbands are also focused on finding a solution and are eager to find a successful way to It eliminates strife.
The more a couple can do this in unison, the more resilient they will be. It is great if you always have a goal in mind and pursue it to have a successful and satisfying life. Although there will be many obstacles along the way and they may seem like big breaks, with the right skills and preparation, you will design a plan and a path to achieve your goals.
Tips for building a relationship Resilient
What resilient couples do is gather strength to go through difficult moments and successfully overcome them. . If you do not have the ability and skill to resolve disputes, problems can turn into more bitter and long-lasting quarrels, which are likely to eventually lead to resentment and upset between the parties and the end of the relationship and life together. Things that resilient couples do include staying calm and staying calm in difficult moments. One or both of them consider the positive side and are optimistic about themselves as a couple. They remain positive-minded and believe that difficult times strengthen the bond between them and bring them closer together.
Learning to become a resilient couple takes time, patience and effort. While you can learn resilience by practicing techniques and gaining skills, the process can also be learned by a third party professional if you have a learning challenge.
A resilient relationship It does not have to be natural for every couple. Many couples need to learn to emotionally manage their challenges, focus on the positives, and resolve differences constructively. Failure to do so will lead to further damage that has the potential to end the relationship. To manage the difficult problems you face in life, you need to adapt coping exercises to your relationship so that your overall emotional health also improves. Some of these exercises are:
1. Know your response to stress
Many people have an emotional response to stress without taking a deep breath or paying attention to What they are trying to say at the moment. You need to know your quick response to disagreement and incompatibility and how you manage to deal with your spouse's retaliatory response and correct those behaviors. The work that resilient couples do is to face difficulties with a calm mind that will not allow the initial reaction until a conscious and calm thought is formed.
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2. Mindfulness; Presence in the present moment
Practicing mindfulness teaches both parties how to be present in the present moment. When you ask the judge to focus on the moment, you will be able to reach out to those around you, pay close attention, and listen actively. This is the way in which resilient relationships can effectively meet challenges.
What resilient couples do is maintain a balance in the relationship that creates space for both parties. So there will be a secure infrastructure when a problem arises. If the balance of power in the relationship is disturbed by the dominance of one of the parties, it is likely that the relationship will be damaged.
4. Agree to disagree
No couple always agrees. The question is how to manage the opposition. What compliant couples do is agree to disagreements and have no problem with the outcome. There is no problem for each party to have their own opinion in the discussion and there is no need for a person to win the discussion.
5. Giving space to each other
What resilient couples do to solve problems is to stay away from problems. This can be done after discussion and trying to resolve the dispute. This does not mean wasting effort and does not mean that there is no resilience, it just means that after a break they return to continue solving the problem.
15 things that resilient couples do
A healthy and lasting relationship is not something that couples achieve automatically, but if the long-term commitment is the goal Even if it is achieved during a certain period of time with a lot of effort and patience. The more hardships you endure, the more growth and success you will have, the stronger your relationships will be, and the closer you will be to your spouse. This does not mean that sometimes you will not have a hard fight with each other, but resilient couples sometimes do this to pay attention to the positive points and find ways to overcome the ups and downs individually and together. In the following, we will examine the things that resilient couples do.
1. They Have Problems with Positive Thinking
Many people avoid differences and inconsistencies, but one of the things that resilient couples do is look at problems in a positive light and, instead of allowing problems to bring them happiness. Spoil will see another challenge.
2. Do not blame each other
Prosperous couples do not focus on who is to blame or responsible for What they experience and try. No one should be blamed or blamed. In times of difficulty or happiness, both are involved, both are challenged and must overcome.
3. They support each other emotionally
Fighting and incompatibility are accompanied by a lot of emotions. Couples endure grief in a resilient relationship, but respect their spouse's position and accept responsibility. Each of them does its best to resolve the conflict. They have the most love and support for each other in the sense that the relationship is strong enough that each party has enough space without personalizing the subject.
4. Conversation is always the key
Neither party in a relationship is afraid to talk openly and vulnerably to the other. Dialogue is the strength of this relationship, which is used in times of conflict. This method makes it much easier to overcome problems because the parties know that there is no judgment or rejection.
5. Solutions are never in doubt
The prediction is that there will be a solution without a doubt. What compliant couples do is that they are committed to finding a solution and do not intend to stop each other or ignore problems. Their idea is to fix problems when they occur and move forward in a beneficial way.
Priorities are clear
It is necessary to set priorities even when a dispute arises. Resilient couples know that they are each other's priority, but there is a clear need to emphasize this in times of difficulty. These couples will say it even if they do not want to say it orally.
7. Optimism is an advantage
In determining the meaning of resilience, the word optimism comes first. The position of these couples is that the absence of difficulty is impossible and all difficulties are temporary. In a relationship, couples believe that the future is bright. The problem may be very acute but it is not insurmountable and does not affect their relationship or feelings towards each other.
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8. Hardships and Opportunities are an Opportunity for Learning
See the title of partner but also personal growth. Compatible
couples, like other people, suffer when faced with disagreements
and incompatibilities, but see it as a chance to have a stronger
9. Laugh at Problems
A funny look at problems can help reduce anger, restore everything, and allow couples to communicate calmly. So they can easily talk to each other.
10. Understand Problems
Compatible couples first fully understand the problem when it arises before they start arguing. What these couples do is consider the facts before starting to argue and react.
They endorse the other side's view
The suggestion is that people seeking to achieve resilience should focus on endorsing each other.
12. Power play does not enter their lives
Many couples seek to see who is stronger when disagreements arise, but resilient couples do not participate in the power play and instead have the opportunity to express and share with each other. They comment.
13. Compatibility is a priority
What resilient couples do is always consider compromise. There will not always be a soft and easy answer to the challenges. Sometimes there is a need for reciprocity so that both parties are satisfied.
15. Getting help does not mean looking weak
Even in a resilient relationship, the parties are not afraid to get help from each other when they do not find a way to solve the problem. In some cases, the solution is to seek help from a counselor.
relationship resilience is something that everyone should strive to achieve. Many people want to learn it and are looking for tips or ideas to do it. The fact is that learning resilience requires practice and patience.This is only about education and information. Be sure to consult an expert before using the recommendations in this article. For more information, read the BingMag Meg Disclaimer .
Sources: Psychology Today, Marriage