How to teach others to treat us with respect?

Did you know that you can determine how others treat you by setting clear boundaries, setting your expectations, expressing your feelings, and leaving situations that are unacceptable to you? Have? How to teach others to treat us with respect?

Did you know that you can determine how others treat you by setting clear boundaries, setting your expectations, expressing your feelings, and leaving situations that are unacceptable to you? Have?

Teaching how others treat us starts from ourselves. First, you should find out what you like and what you don't like, then share them clearly with others.

Of course, just teaching others is not a guarantee that they will treat you right. Therefore, the very important point in this section is to let go of things that are not under your control.

Learning how to treat others is a process that includes introducing acceptable and unacceptable things to yourself. they will Michael Morgan, a family and marriage counselor, says that by knowing our needs and expectations, we will be able to have more effective relationships with others. Below are some effective ways to teach others to treat us with respect.

Benefits of teaching others how to treat themselves

Of course, teaching how to treat oneself Others are time-consuming and energy-consuming work, but it also has benefits that are listed below.

  • Better relationships
  • Better communication and conversations
  • More self-esteem
  • Less stress and worry
  • Freedom from unrealistic and selfish expectations of others
  • More independence
  • Allocating more time and energy to your goals
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The process of teaching others how to treat themselves

1. Start with yourself How to teach others to treat us with respect?

Josephine Wiseheart, a psychologist in Miami, says: Teach others how to treat you, start with yourself and not with them." For this purpose, at the end of the day, you must clearly define your needs and your expectations from others, then you can move forward with your desires.

In addition, respecting yourself also causes You will realize that you deserve to be respected by others. Every belief and behavior you have about yourself sets the standards for how you expect others to treat you. Morgan also believes that others treat you based on what you accept from them.

Wisehart says that teaching how others treat us begins with self-awareness and self-knowledge. He advises us to ask ourselves the following questions in order to know ourselves:

  • How do I treat myself?
  • What do I value?
  • >What do I expect?
  • What do we think I deserve?

Be a little pebble, Wisehart regularly tells his clients. In other words, "a change in the appearance of even a small pebble in the water creates a ripple and creates bigger changes."

Know your values. For example, every human needs to gain respect from others. This is not something we can ask others to do, but we can earn it unselfishly by consistently modeling our own behavior.

The most important thing is that you don't accept disrespect. Show them how to improve their behavior by modeling respect and rejecting disrespect. Sometimes this means being calm and patient and, if possible, looking for a way to balance yourself and the relationship. /li>

2. Define your rules of engagement and participation

Don't others know how you like to be treated? In order for people who are in a relationship to be on the same side, they need to have access to instructions or the same way of interaction. Wisehart calls these guidelines rules of engagement.

Wisehart recommends holding a meeting to talk about the rules of behavior in the relationship, just like a business meeting. The best time to do this might be when everyone is in a good mood and eager to discuss the topic. Doing this in the middle of an argument will have the opposite effect.

Some rules can include the following:

  • No cursing or insulting.
  • Yelling. Don't hit.
  • Listen to each other actively.
  • Have a positive view of the other person and be optimistic.
  • If the discussion gets out of control, talk

Determining the rules also requires setting boundaries for when the rules are not followed.

3. Communicate clearly and empathetically. "You never listen to me" is better to say "I feel lonely now and what if I'd appreciate ten minutes of your attention."

Morgan also adds that in other words, when you identify a need and articulate it in a clear and comprehensive way, you teach others how to deal with you. behave For this reason, silence is not appropriate behavior at all.

Morgan believes that if we use violent or even abusive behavior, others will not learn how to treat us because the only things we What they see and hear is shouting and violence, and your message is not conveyed to them in this way.

4. Model the behavior you want

Be the person you want others to be, says Wisehart. To this end, treat others the way you would like to be treated. This is reminiscent of the Golden Rule and is different from how they treat others.

Wisehart also says that for example, if you want your child to be kind to you, be kind to him. If you want your wife to treat you romantically, you should treat her in the same way.

5. Reinforce the things you like

Wisehart says reinforcement simply means thanking others when you see them trying to change their behavior. For example, you could say, "Thank you for listening to me yesterday on purpose." Do it a day later or 10 days later. It is not possible to reinforce positive behaviors enough.

6. Choose a role model as your role model How to teach others to treat us with respect?

Morgan advises someone who respects and feels It has a lot of value, find it and choose it as your model. This person can be a parent, peer, friend, teacher, coach, therapist, or even a celebrity. The most important component of the person you choose as a role model is that he should have the beliefs and behaviors that you like.

  • How to accept others as they are?

7. Be realistic about it

Wisehart says that you cannot change the way others treat you in a day, a week or a month. It will probably take at least several months for someone to treat you the way you like. Wisehart also says that sometimes people get too caught up in limiting themselves and try to behave differently to defend their actual behavior.

When you start clarifying what you can and can't tolerate, it's likely that some People don't stay in that range and don't accept those things. In that situation, you should ask yourself which one do you like more? A relationship that you are worth or creating space for future relationships that you deserve?

8. Resolve arguments with transparency and kindness

There will definitely be arguments along the way because we are all human. Your calmness and kindness reinforces the behavior you expect others to treat you with. Have them. Show them the same respect you want them to show you and try to see the situation from their point of view.

On the other hand, if you are always right and think that whoever He disagrees, he's a narcissist, and you're much less likely to respond gently or kindly.

If you at least try to see the situation from the other person's point of view, you're much more likely to find a solution that works for both of you. you will find.

9. Accept genuine apologies from others, forgive and move on How to teach others to treat us with respect?

Just as sometimes arguments with Others happen, there are times when the person who treated you badly comes to you with a real or fake apology. If his apology is sincere and your forgiveness is genuine, the relationship can move forward in a positive direction.

It is difficult to respond to insincere apologies because you get the message that others are trying to take advantage of you. harm It is true that you can recognize fake apologies from people's faces, but it really doesn't help and there is a better way.

You can accept their apologies without rejecting the consequences and results of their actions. You don't pretend that those things never happened or that their actions don't mean anything, but you simply allow both parties to move on and learn from their mistakes.

  • How to forgive others. ? (even if they have done us a great harm)

What should we do when facing the bad behavior of others? How to teach others to treat us with respect?

In such a situation, you may be tempted to respond to the bad behavior of others with a behavior similar to your own and punish them in this way, or Teach them a lesson, but it always backfires. Because what they remember is not their bad behavior but your bad behavior. You will become the person who is bad even if they are people whose behavior you model.

Here are some better ideas to use when someone is harassing or abusing you.

  • Apologize very calmly and politely; Instead of leaving the conversation, say, "I can't stand this."
  • Control behavior; No need to respond angrily. Just say it's really annoying and I don't like the way you're behaving.
  • Ask others to repeat that behavior; If they say an annoying phrase, respond with this sentence: "It is possible to repeat your sentence one more time." Hearing their own sentence again will make them feel ashamed.
  • Don't say anything and smile; The cold wall approach shows that their bad behavior didn't bother you enough to respond to it.

Of course, in the long run, it is better to model the behavior you want others to have towards you. Put them and remember them. How would you like others to treat you?

This article is only for education and information purposes. Be sure to consult an expert before using the recommendations in this article. For more information, read BingMag Disclaimer.

Sources: PsychCentral, Live Bold and Bloom

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