If you have more than one child, you have probably experienced your children arguing, arguing and competing. The truth is that even the best and warmest relationship between siblings can sometimes lead to fights and rivalries. Fighting between children is inevitable and you just have to learn to manage it best. Stay tuned to BingMag for more on How to manage quarrels and fights between children.
Why fight between children?
Arguments and disagreements between children are completely normal and happen in every home. If these arguments escalate too much, it can lead to deep animosity and resentment and disturb the peace of the house. Before the relationship between the children cools down, you have to step forward as their parents and solve the problem.
When a warm, intimate and constructive relationship develops between siblings, children learn How in the world Coping with various problems outside the home. Children learn at home How to deal with differences and resolve them.
When children learn to accept each other's differences and solve their problems in better ways, warmer and more intimate relationships are formed between children. And the family becomes a safe and peaceful environment for all family members.
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Common causes of quarrels between children h2>
To manage this situation you must first identify why these disputes and rivalries arise. Each dispute may have a different reason; For example, who's turn to tidy the room or who's decision to watch the movie on TV. But the root of these differences may be a deeper and more important issue.
In some cases, the main problem may be personality differences. Sometimes there may be a sense of unresolved competition between children; For example, a child may feel that the mother or father cares more about his or her sibling. Another child may feel resentful because he or she thinks he or she can not do much work or have more authority at home because he or she is younger. Or one of the siblings may want the home environment to be quieter and more relaxed; While the other is looking for noisy and adventurous activities.
How to manage fights between children?
It does not matter what the cause of the quarrel between the children; Parents should do their best to establish a good relationship between the children and make sure that these arguments do not harm their warm and family relationship. If you are in this situation as a parent of several children, use the following methods to control the situation.
First of all, you need to teach your children to manage these arguments in a positive way.
Children who have been taught How to manage disputes in a constructive manner; For example, by listening to their siblings or not showing misbehavior such as obscenity, they will have a better mental framework for resolving disputes and passing disputes.
One of the benefits of teaching this skill is that children As they learn How to prevent and resolve disputes with their siblings, they will be better able to negotiate and compromise in future relationships, both at work and at home. Learning How to handle disputes with siblings helps children become adults who are good at resolving disputes and are better at managing relationships with others.
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2. Demonstrating the Importance of Sibling Relationships
As parents, you need to remind your children How important it is for the whole family to have a warm relationship. Explain to the children that your family is just like a team. For a team to be successful, all its members, including parents and children, must work together, have a calm environment, and love each other. Any quarrel and quarrel that arises between team members can harm the whole family.
Some parents believe that it is better to let children deal with their own problems and arguments. This may be true to some extent; But as long as children have the tools to manage disputes in a constructive, positive, and peaceful way. If the argument escalates sharply or a verbal or physical argument breaks out, parents should intervene immediately.
If you were not present at the time of the argument, take the time to talk to them and talk about what happened. That aggression of any kind is not acceptable in your home.
4. listen to Both sides of the dispute
In any sibling dispute, there are two sides, and it is your duty to pay attention to what both parties are saying and to see the matter from both sides. Make each child feel that their careers are being taken care of without judgment. Children usually feel better after talking to their mother or father about their problem, especially when they feel they can express their position and receive fair attention.
5. Set rules for family quarrels
Set rules for family quarrels and let everyone know. No obscenity, verbal or physical violence is acceptable in family disputes. Teach children not to break the law under any circumstances and ask them to treat the other party as they would like to be treated.
Finding the root of the problem
Ask the children to point out their main problem precisely and clearly. Ask them to focus and say exactly what made them angry and upset. It will be much easier for you to solve the problem when the children find and recount the main problem instead of focusing on their sibling behavior. Suppose, for example, that one of your children bullies you for choosing a joint game and wants it to be your own word. Consider the game, the problem is easily solved. You can force them to take turns deciding what to play and have fun, and monitor that yourself.
Asking for suggestions from your children
In these situations, you can ask your children to suggest a solution. Encourage them to look for a solution that is fair and satisfies both parties to the dispute. Ask them to put themselves in the other person's shoes and make a proposal based on the other person's circumstances.
8. Be a role model for your children
You need to be a role model for your children in problem-solving behaviors and skills. Children see and learn from their parents' behaviors. Talk to your spouse about these skills and the right behavior in your discussions and find a suitable way. Your behavior with your spouse, parents, and children also shapes How your children behave.
If you respect others when arguing and can control the situation calmly, children will do the same. They learn from you. They learn problem-solving and argument management skills by seeing, and apply them in life, both as a child and in the future.
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daily habits to strengthen relationships between children at home
In order for the quarrel between the children to decrease and for them to have a warmer and more intimate relationship, you need to establish habits at home. Parents have an important role to play in strengthening sibling relationships and reducing quarrels and rivalries between them. By doing activities that encourage children to cooperate and participate, teach them to be constructive and to resolve their differences in better ways instead of arguing.
It does not matter How Have siblings with behavioral and personality differences. As a parent, you can warm up your relationship with your children by using the following tips.
Do not compare children
Never compare your children with each other. For example, never say something like this to your children: "Why do you not listen to us like your brother? Why don't you help with the housework like your sister? p>
2. Identifying the root cause of arguments
If your children are arguing a lot, it is likely that their behavior has a deeper hidden cause than the apparent causes of the arguments. Maybe they are competing to get more of your attention. Maybe they fight more when they are tired and bored.
Once you can find a pattern that leads to tension between the children, solving those main problems will reduce the quarrel between the children. For example, try to give equal time to all your children equally and individually so that the children do not have to argue to get more attention.
3. Accepting Differences
Teach your children to accept each other's differences. You too must accept the difference between children. When children are different, for example, one loves to sit quietly and read a book and the other loves busy and lively activities, differences between children increase.
In this case, you should teach your children to make these differences. Respect and know that there is only one thing that matters most; Loving each other in the family environment.
If they are in recreation Families disagree, teach your children to find a solution together or take turns deciding on family fun.
Try to encourage children to cooperate in their daily activities. One of the most important things that strengthens the sense of empathy among children is doing teamwork to achieve a goal. For example, if they clean their room together, consider a reward for them.
Consider a project for this purpose; Cleaning the room, cleaning the garden and yard, or any activity that suits their abilities and age. This subconsciously forces them to work together to achieve the desired result.
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5. Improve listening skills
Try to teach children to learn listening skills. The ability to listen to the professionalism of others is one of the most important skills a child needs to learn. By learning listening skills, children learn other skills as well; For example, to put themselves in the other person's shoes and see the world from his point of view and his circumstances. Teach your children to try to talk to each other and ask for each other's opinion and think calmly when there is a dispute.
6. Teaching the importance of respect
Teach your children the importance of mutual respect between family members. Listening to others is also an aspect of respect. Respect strengthens any relationship; It does not matter if it is a relationship between the children of a family or a relationship between parents, friends, co-workers and
Teach children to treat others the way they would like to be treated. This respect can take many forms; For example, talking to each other without violence and obscenity, without having an unpleasant tone of voice, not paying attention to the opinions of others, paying attention to the privacy and desires of others, and/
7. Learning to Oppose Without Disrespect
Even people who love each other can sometimes disagree; This is an undeniable fact in life. But How we deal with these differences is important. Teach your children that they may not always agree with each other, but they should not disrespect each other or allow quarrels to affect their positive interactions and, most importantly, avoid physical conflict.
8. Emphasize the emphasis on family relationships
Explain to your children and keep reminding them that families, especially siblings, have an unwavering love and support that is not easily replaced by other relationships.
Remind your children that while they may now prefer to be friends with their siblings, they will become more important to each other as they get older.
They have not yet fully understood the importance of sibling relationships, this is a message worth repeating, and they will eventually realize it as they get older.
9. Setting aside time for fun
Family fun is a good opportunity to strengthen family relationships. In addition to the fun and entertainment that everyone has with their friends and peers, make time to be together. During these periods and cohabitations, you can strengthen the children's relationships and clarify the importance of the family for them. It happens to all families. The only thing you need to know about child quarrels is to find ways to manage them so that they do not get worse and deeper. Provide a warm, calm environment for children to learn problem-solving skills for a better life through cooperation, empathy, counseling, and the importance of respect in the family.
Sources: verywellfamily and verywellfamily>