You may have noticed by now that socializing with others has subtle intricacies and subtleties that go unnoticed at first glance. One of the most important complexities of human relationships is understanding the intentions of others about the demands they make on those around them. Finding the hidden purpose behind a particular request becomes more difficult when expressing that request is accompanied by instilling a sense of guilt as a stimulus for faster action.
Unfortunately, forcing a request to be accepted by instilling a sense of guilt , Is one of the most common methods of psychological manipulation to advance goals. This trick is usually used by relatives and those who are well aware of the weaknesses and causes of lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, and if left unchecked, it can cause irreparable damage to mental health.
In this article from BingMag, we examine the phenomenon of inducing the feeling of guilt and while examining its roots, we introduce 5 practical strategies to control and reduce this feeling. Join us.
What is the hidden logic behind instilling a sense of guilt?
How to instill a sense of guilt? This psychological manipulation often manifests itself in the form of trying to control a person's behaviors by instilling a sense of remorse and remorse. Feelings of guilt culminate when the other person begins to instill a variety of negative feelings about the nature of the person and severely questions the importance of his or her decisions and choices. In this situation, the injured person agrees to do anything to get rid of the feeling of guilt so as not to disappoint those around him.
Another important point about instilling the feeling of guilt is that this type of psychological manipulation is usually It takes place in close and very intimate relationships and imperceptibly. Friends, co-workers, relatives and family members are the most likely options for such behavior. Emotional or friendly relationships with these people are always accompanied by the fear of disappointing or upsetting them. Therefore, falling into the trap of feeling guilty is inevitable in itself. Now imagine that having this feeling is accompanied by a double induction from relatives!
In general, inducing a feeling of guilt with a special focus on emotional connection and personality weaknesses and in order to force a person to do an activity. Special is done. Usually the other person convinces the person that he has made a big mistake and has to do something for him to compensate for it, which is in fact nothing more than a reward. The very strong effect of guilt on one's performance stems from the undeniable power of "guilt".
Normally, guilt can be a good motivator for positive change. For example, when you feel guilty about losing the intimacy of a close friend, you may improve your relationship with him or her and prevent the loss of a valuable relationship. Psychologists consider this kind of guilt "valid" and consider it as an internal criterion for distinguishing right from wrong. Used properly, it can help us make the right choices that will not lead to regrets later. If something is accompanied, it is not valid at all. This guilt, for no apparent reason, causes concern and provokes reactions that are to the benefit of others and to the detriment of the individual. In such a situation, one thinks that one has made an unforgivable mistake, while this is a feeling instilled by those around us.
Inducing a sense of guilt is a flawed way of communicating. In many cases, the person who induces this feeling encounters many problems in expressing his/her needs and feelings explicitly, and he/she expresses these inadequacies in the form of instilling a sense of guilt in another person. Sometimes the lack of mutual satisfaction in the relationship is responsible for the tendency to instill a sense of guilt. One of the most obvious examples of this tendency is evident in the behavior of parents with their children. Sometimes parents instill guilt in their children to express feelings of nostalgia.
Inducing feelings of guilt comes in many forms. The most common practices are severe criticism, passive anger, victimization, and neglect. The following is a brief list of situations that you may find yourself in if you feel guilty.
- You can not say no without facing very negative consequences.
- Most of the time, you are blamed by others for things that do not even matter to you.
- Your loved ones doubt your love and loyalty and constantly associate you with people who they think perform better. Have a life comparison They do.
- Others are always looking for ways to change your behavior, morals and way of thinking.
- Others insist on putting you in a way that they have arranged for you.
- Others constantly warn you that you could have performed better, behaved, or behaved better, but that you were negligent.
- Be unresponsive and even approve of some of the magnifications of your mind.
- Others often want you to spend more time and energy on them, but they never seem to feel satisfied.
- As soon as others receive a positive response to do what you are supposed to do against your instincts, they will love you, in other words, show conditional love.
- Feeling very scared and anxious in the face of these people And keep dreaming of removing them from your life.
5 practical ways to control and reduce feelings of guilt
Although the experience of feeling guilty is largely rooted in low self-esteem, there are ways to control and reduce its severity, which are generally related to strengthening self-awareness and self-awareness. be. In the following, 5 of these solutions are introduced.
1. Trust Your Logic
Whenever you find yourself in a situation where the alarm bells are ringing, feel free to ask yourself these questions quickly: Do thinking about agreeing to this particular request make you Worried or upset? Do you notice the physical symptoms of anxiety as soon as you think about the consequences of doing so? Have you thought about your goal of doing this? What role do emotions play in accepting this request? Are you physically and mentally fit to accept this request?
The answers you give to these questions can help you make the best possible decision. Remember that doing something out of remorse or coercion of others is not a pleasure at all and only exacerbates self-esteem.
Evaluate events as you see and feel them. Try not to include feelings and confrontations in the decision-making process so much that your eyes are closed to reality. Show the other person that you respect his or her request and know that it is important to him or her, but you are not going to force yourself to do something because you feel guilty.
If you are under a lot of pressure to accept a request. You are there, tell the other person that you do not want to say "yes" out of guilt or be forced to reject their request with disrespect. One good thing you can say to the other person at this time is: "I do not want to do something out of remorse, because it makes me hate myself later. "I want to do with my own will what I know How to do."
3. End Vicious Cycles
Sometimes it is necessary to start over to have a better and more realistic relationship. In these cases, the fear of failing again and being trapped in a sense of guilt may slow down your progress a little, but in the long run you will be grateful for this right choice. It is always difficult to change your approach, but with a little effort and perseverance, you will be able to replace old destructive habits with new healthy ones and avoid feeling guilty.
Reconsider your social boundaries
One of the most important factors that allows others to make you feel guilty is the lack of proper boundaries on your part. In many cases it is necessary to explicitly ask others to respect your right to say "no". By doing this, you draw clear and healthy boundaries in your relationships with others and improve the quality of relationships. The end result is that others become more distracted and try to let go of compulsion by instilling a sense of guilt.
Manage the situation with kindness
It may be hard to believe, but kindness is one of the most powerful tools available to disarm people who try to achieve their goals through psychological manipulation. Whenever you come across people who want to pave the way for their success by instilling a sense of guilt, gladly let them know that you understand the importance of their request, but do not have the conditions to accept it.
Do not forget that changing bad habits takes time and maintaining continuity is the only guaranteed way to achieve the desired results. On the path to improving habits and finding the right path, realism, prioritizing one's needs, and rational boundaries are the best tools to deal with guilt. Try to strengthen the power of saying "no" and do not go under the burden of doing things that go against your wishes at any cost.The article is for educational and informational purposes only. Be sure to consult an expert before using the recommendations in this article. For more information, read the BingMag Meg Disclaimer .