One of the most difficult questions you may be asked is "Are you a lovable person?" Is being with you pleasant, energizing, and soothing?
In fact, all people subconsciously exhibit bad behaviors; Behaviors that prevent them from experiencing successful romantic relationships, career advancement, and even a sense of satisfaction in life. These people often do not know that their negative behaviors cause others to resent or even distance themselves from them.
Most of us may offend or upset others in a variety of ways, especially in close relationships. It is impossible to be human and not occasionally experience bad moods; For example, sudden outbursts of anger, childish reactions, or even selfish behaviors.
But sometimes in social interactions such behaviors are normalized and we accept them as part of our daily interactions with different people. Although this does not reduce the unpleasantness of such behaviors in any way.
But what exactly do these bad and annoying behaviors that offend others include? And what is the way to change these destructive behavioral habits?
In the continuation of this article from BingMag, we have reviewed 9 of the most annoying social behaviors that offend those around them. Then we have explored ways to overcome these destructive behavioral habits. Be with us.
What causes unpleasant behaviors?
- A person may never have learned adult emotional behaviors or may not have been trained by their parents. Or the parents have inadvertently implicitly acknowledged and reinforced some of the child's negative behaviors. Thus, the child carries these patterns of behavior with him into adulthood.
- Mental health problems or personality disorders can be the cause of unpleasant and different behaviors.
- Sometimes, a person's positive traits can act as a protective aura for his bad behaviors, so without The fact that the person receives direct feedback on his or her behavioral mistakes continues to lead to these misbehaviors.
It is objective to know your personality and assess your level of maturity. Although sometimes our emotions work in our favor, there are many compelling reasons to let go of emotion-based behavioral habits and develop alternative logical habits.
- Your misbehavior tends to Isolation and falling and if you want to have a relationship with people who are emotionally mature, healthy and moderate, you have to have the same situation yourself.
- Bad behaviors are the main cause Low self-esteem and mood disorders. If your behaviors cause people to turn away from you or cause some problems at work and discomfort, eventually these events and feelings that you experience will affect your sense of worth and your self-esteem. Reduces.
- Misbehavior is often a sign of a bigger problem. If a person regularly behaves inappropriately or annoyingly, it is usually an inner invitation to become more self-aware. Behind those poor communication skills and recurring social problems may lie something deeper (eg, unhealed anger, pain, fear, etc.).
- Your misbehavior toward those you love most You have the most negative impact. Your spouse, children, and close family members may be severely affected by your bad behavioral habits or feel ashamed in front of others. But they live with you anyway and often have to endure these ugly behaviors. Children who do not yet have the emotional skills to implement appropriate boundaries or express dissatisfaction with adult misbehavior may suffer irreparable damage in these cases.
The behaviors we refer to here , Does not include horrific acts that can be considered a crime (eg, abuse, physical violence, betrayal, etc.). We are talking about small inappropriate behaviors that are like thousands of small arrows that are fired at others over months and years. They destroy.
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9 bad habits to learn from Avoid them
If you come across something on this list that matches your behavior patterns, You need to put your energy and focus on turning these bad behaviors into positive habits and building new relationships.
Creating guilt in others
In this case, the person uses not-so-pleasant strategies to try to let others know that he is upset about something. When things do not go his way, the person takes action to make others feel bad about their choices or actions. Troubleshooting tries with all its might to make others suffer with it.
Alternative Positive Behavior: Learn to accept that not everything in life is what you want it to be. Went. Other people have the right to make choices that you may not like. Ask for what you want, express your needs kindly, and accept disappointments kindly.
Self-centeredness means that one thinks that everything one says is true and the word The latter must be beaten, while such a person always feels more important or smarter than others.
This person feels that he knows everything better and that others should respect him for his superiority. This behavior is often a cover for people feeling insecure.
Alternative Positive Behavior: First of all, you have to accept that humility combined with adult self-confidence is very appealing to everyone. Is. No one tends to feel inferior or inferior to others, regardless of their background, level of income, or living conditions. Every human being has something valuable in him that he can share with others. The main focus of relationships should be discovering these valuable points in others, not mere arrogance.
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3. Anger with destructive behaviors
What is an example of bad behavior? Violence, selfishness, violent behaviors, as well as passive aggressive behaviors are all examples of destructive expression of anger in adults.
We all get angry and upset, but there are healthy, adult ways to express anger. It has no negative effects on relationships.
When our children are small and angry, we tell them to talk about the problem instead of crying and arguing. In fact, when we are angry, we should all focus on our desires and problems instead of returning to irrational childish behaviors and use our verbal ability to express our feelings.
Alternative Positive Behavior: When you feel angry and upset, try to identify the cause and source first. Often the cause of your anger is much deeper than what is happening in front of you. Take a deep breath and calmly talk about your anger. Avoid interacting with others until you are able to control your emotions and speak calmly.
Abuse and manipulation of other people's emotions
Many of the behaviors mentioned in this article include some form of abuse and manipulation They are emotional, but a professional abuser takes such actions on a more serious level. They use their intelligence, eloquence, charm, or other skills to impose their will on others.
It may take months or years for a loved one to realize what is happening. Sometimes the abuser does not consciously realize that what he or she is doing is wrong or immoral. They simply see abuse as a normal means of achieving their goals.
Positive Alternative Behavior: It is very difficult to eliminate this behavior because it involves creating a relatively complex level of self-awareness in the sufferer. Is. It begins with sincere respect for those around you, acknowledging that all human beings have an inner wisdom and should not be led in a direction that is not right for them, even if they do so willingly at first.
5. Gossip and gossip
This is a behavior that can easily become a habit. Having information about a person, especially sensitive or negative information, makes a person feel empowered. That he knows something that everyone wants to know. But rumors are very harmful and destroy trust.
Alternative Positive Behavior: To get rid of this unpleasant habit, you need to see the rumors as they really are, be harmful and harmful. Instead of gossiping about different people or situations, look for their goodness and be a messenger of kindness and friendship.
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6. Jealousy can occur in many of the behaviors mentioned in
this article, especially in the case of Create a sense of guilt.
Jealousy usually results from feelings of hurt, humiliation, or
Jealousy causes others to feel upset and feel guilty unnecessarily. We all feel this way from time to time. Jealousy is actually a call to evaluate life and appreciate what we have.
Alternative Positive Behavior: When jealousy appears in you, pause and try to get rid of this destructive feeling. Reverse. If you feel jealous of someone, take some time to wish them health and wealth, and be thankful for your blessings. If you want to improve your situation, instead of being jealous or trying to hit someone, work for your own excellence and happiness.
7. Weak listening skills
The age of distraction has led to the loss of good listening skills among humans Is. We type on the computer and talk to our children without looking at them. We answer our cell phones during a conversation or while eating.
We text others when we interact with real people. We pass by the person we are talking to easily hoping to see if there is someone more important nearby. We can no longer hear what others are telling us.
Alternative Positive Behavior: Minimize distractions when talking to someone. Turn off your cell phone or TV. Stay away from the computer. Practice deep listening by making eye contact, retelling what you have heard to the speaker, and acknowledging the feelings or ideas conveyed.
Non-observance of social etiquette
Are all good and right behaviors lost? The same simple skills that most of us were taught as children are powerful communication tools. Eating and punctuation are all signs of consideration and self-respect.
Positive Alternative Behavior: Most of us know what good behavior is, but because society as a whole It has lost its sensitivity to them, we may have forgotten to use them. Start by remembering good behaviors. Pay attention to the things you may be neglecting and make a conscious effort to implement proper social etiquette in all situations.
9. Lack of familiarity and observance of conversational etiquette
Have you ever met someone who is constantly talking to others? Interrupts or jumps in the middle of others talking? Such a person seems to believe that what you are trying to say is more interesting or important than what others are saying.
Or those who completely avoid talking to others and believe that they are more important than others and that energy is not worth Spend time socializing.
Failure to follow etiquette conveys the message that you do not care about them or their conversations.
Positive Alternative Behavior:strong> If you want to master the etiquette of conversation, you must first learn to talk less and listen more. Ask questions of those around you to show interest in what they are saying, without taking the time to talk to them.
Increase and diversify the range of your acquaintances. Even if you have no intellectual connection with those around you, you can always find a common ground for discussion.
Looking in the mirror and seeing our existential truth and behavioral flaws It can be very difficult. Our first reaction is probably to divert our minds from focusing on this issue and defending ourselves. In fact, we always have good reasons for our actions and we can justify our behaviors well. This article is for educational and informational purposes only. Be sure to consult a specialist before using the recommendations in this article. For more information, read the BingMag Meg Disclaimer .
Source: Live Bold and Bloom