20 sentences that you should and should not say to a depressed person!

Are there people around you who are suffering from depression and you would like to help them? The important thing is, how should you express your concern or concern for depressed people in order to really help them? The first thing you should do is to make sure if they really have clinical depression. Just like happiness, sadness is a reaction and can be a state of mind. But depression starts from the synapses of the brain and affects hormones.

BingMag.com 20 sentences that you should and should not say to a depressed person!

Are there people around you who are suffering from depression and you would like to help them? The important thing is, how should you express your concern or concern for depressed people in order to really help them? The first thing you should do is to make sure if they really have clinical depression. Just like happiness, sadness is a reaction and can be a state of mind. But depression starts from the synapses of the brain and affects hormones.

Depression does not decrease but goes beyond the feeling of discomfort and is not necessarily related to a specific situation in the past. Depression is sometimes similar to sadness and unhappiness and is recognized by certain symptoms and leads to changes in the body and mind that only sometimes others can see.

Symptoms of depression

Symptoms Depressions have been introduced below, and a mental health doctor must observe five or six of them in a person to diagnose depression. These symptoms must be present in the person for at least two weeks. Symptoms of depression that are out of the normal state of a person and lead to disruption in life include:

  • Feeling empty and hopeless all day long for at least two weeks
  • Lack of interest in daily activities, especially favorite activities and favorite hobbies
  • Weight loss or weight gain without dieting or deliberate weight gain
  • Insomnia or sleeping too much every day
  • Significant restlessness, slowness of speech and movements without the use of drugs
  • Significant fatigue
  • Feelings of guilt or worthlessness without reason
  • Having thoughts of death
  • Daily problems of lack of concentration and indecisiveness
  • Attempting or planning to commit suicide

What should we say to a depressed person? h2>

BingMag.com 20 sentences that you should and should not say to a depressed person!

1. "No matter how long or short this period is, it will pass and end"

Therese J. Borchard, mental health advocate and founder of the online depression community project, says: "This feeling won't last forever" is a phrase When I didn't like to be in this world, I could hear it fifty times a day. These words are not judgmental, imposing or controlling. What they do is create hope, and hope is what keeps a person alive, or at least gives them enough motivation to continue tomorrow and seek recovery.

Note that the tone and body language are very important because if they don't have the right tone, they may be considered insulting or ignored.

2. "Can I do something for you?"

What most writers agree on is to show your attention instead of talking. Words are not very effective for a depressed person. Therefore, the best way to really support a person with depression is to do something specific and tangible. For example, tell him: "I want to go shopping. What can I get for you?"

If the person resists or is embarrassed to ask for help, change your behavior as if you are interested in doing it yourself. for example; I promised my children to take them to the park this weekend, can I take your children with me for a few hours?

3. "What do you think would make you feel better?"

Instead of offering a solution to the problem, try to listen to the ideas of the person suffering from depression, by doing this show your attention and respect. you give This can also confirm that you don't fully understand depression but are still happy to be able to help.

4. "Would you like me to take you somewhere special?"

Depression can drain all energy. It is better to ask the depressed person if he would like to take him somewhere by car. Some studies have shown that depressed people show more aggressive behavior while driving, and this issue can increase the risk of accidents. When depression occurs, a person may be at risk of late reactions while driving.

5. "Can I come over and hang out?"

Humour can go a long way and a friendly meeting can be more effective than a simple meeting. When dealing with depression, a person may refuse to be in public but enjoy a one-on-one conversation. Also, in addition to being with them, you can also help them in their daily tasks.

When you are depressed and anxious, keeping the environment neat and orderly is one of the first things that is not done. This means that the number of dishes and clothes sitting around can become overwhelming. This issue becomes more especially when a person takes care of other people or his children. To help these people, avoid showing off and telling them how cleaning works May they get better. Just do what you can with the person's permission and without expecting anything.

A very important and significant point is that you must inform him before you go to that person's house. and get permission. No one likes you to visit them.

6. "Thank you for trusting me with your support." It takes a lot of courage for her to acknowledge her depression and allow him to be with her when she is vulnerable. Let the person with depression know that their vulnerability is brave. Thank them for sharing their situation with you. This can lead to mutual respect and make him feel comfortable. If that person is in a situation where he needs help temporarily, balance the bottom of the scale with appreciation that you are in his circle of trust.

7. "Can you think of something that caused your current experience?"

This can very gently and calmly allow the person to come to the conclusion of what caused them to be depressed. This also allows the person to explain their situation without commenting. Additionally, this is a good time to ask them if they would like to talk to a mental health professional. Do not ask sensitive questions that may cause them discomfort or anxiety. In some people, there is not only one factor that triggers depression, and there are several triggers or reasons that lead to the development or worsening of depression. Also note that for many people, there is no concrete reason why they feel depressed, and this is okay.

8. "What time of the day is most difficult for you?"

This question can give people around the person who are in their circle of support an idea of when to visit them. for example; For some people, waking up and getting out of bed in the morning and for others when they come back from work in the evening and may be alone are the most difficult times. Some people may not find a certain time of the day difficult for them, but the weekends are the peak time for their depression. You can write down these times and text, call or invite them for a walk when the person is most vulnerable.

9. "I'm by your side"

BingMag.com 20 sentences that you should and should not say to a depressed person!

This one is very simple and all you have to do is Tell the person, "I care, I understand, I may not fully understand your problem, but I love you and I support you." The best thing about this phrase is that you are not judging the person or offering solutions.

You are there for them to be who they are, no matter what version of themselves they are that day, month, or year. . This still means that you are okay with seeing them at that energy level and doing what they are most comfortable with.


Sometimes there is so much power in not saying anything. Not speaking is perhaps the most difficult thing to do because most people want to fill the silence by saying something. But not talking and instead listening to the person is sometimes the best answer. There are many ways to hold the silence, including: Active listening and being in tune with the other person's feelings. Continue without adding the person's opinion.

Resilience and acceptance of negative feelings

In some cases, you don't need to make an effort to talk to the person with depression. Just be with them, call them and don't expect anything you say to have an immediate effect. You learned how to help a depressed person. You also noticed that the tone of voice is effective in accepting or rejecting our words in others. Research that has been done on the tone of speech has shown that people interpret sentences based on their tone as motivational or non-motivational.

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Non-verbal cues

BingMag.com 20 sentences that you should and should not say to a depressed person!

Body language

Having body language Appropriate and practicing active listening skills can show the person with depression that you are listening to them and that you are there for them. Although non-verbal methods alone cannot determine the good type of possible response of a depressed person, disappointing non-verbal signs will definitely destroy their good response.

Appropriate body language has the following signs. .

Slightly moving the eyebrows

An older study showed that raising and lowering the eyebrows slightly Body language cues are all over the world. If you are looking to get the depressed person's attention and want him to participate in the conversation, try to smile warmly and move your eyebrows quickly.

Reflection or mirror behavior


A study conducted in 2011 suggests that subtle use of body language similar to that of a depressed person can help improve a relationship. But if the person is isolated, don't do this. Instead, choose relaxed body language to express positivity.


Open your arms and take your hands out of your pockets. Experts believe that opening your arms and showing your hands can help avoid anger, fatigue or stress. Because closed and invisible hands lead to stress because they give the impression that something is being hidden.


Eye contact Have a smile (as opposed to a piercing look). Raised eyebrows can indicate curiosity and interest in the person you are talking to.


Drew Coster, Therapist , health coach and writer has prepared a template for writing letters when people are depressed. This format helps people with depression who cannot express their experience through appropriate words. Using reverse engineering techniques, use a format similar to his format to talk to a loved one who is depressed.

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What should we not say to a depressed person?

BingMag.com 20 sentences that you should and should not say to a depressed person!

So far, many useful tools We know to help the depressed person around us. Now we need to know what not to say to a depressed person. If the following things are familiar to you, try not to use them anymore and remove them from your vocabulary.

1. "These are things that go through your mind, you have to think positively"

Positive thinking and hope are very important, but remember that positive thinking is not always fruitful, especially when Force it to create. For example, a study conducted in 2010 showed that motivational statements do not necessarily lead to motivation, but asking yourself questions can be a better way.

In this study, participants were asked to solve a riddle. to solve Participants who asked themselves "Can I?" Almost twice as many as those who said "I can" were able to solve the puzzle. Telling a depressed loved one to "just think positive" is like telling them to "get well." By doing this, you convey to them the concept that their feelings are not real or that they are not facing a big problem or that they have the ability to control their depression.

Depression is a health problem like any other illness. We never tell a person who has diabetes that this disease is created by your own mind.

2. "I know how you feel"

Even if you are depressed yourself, you still don't know exactly how someone else who is suffering from depression is feeling. Yes, you have positive intentions and want to connect with them. But comparing your feelings to the other person's can make the person think you're ignoring their feelings. Depression and mental health diseases in general are very personal and vary from person to person.

3. "The situation could have been worse than this"

If the person suffering from depression talks to you easily and honestly about himself and that he really feels depressed, discuss his situation and conditions with the other person or Worst case scenario you can imagine don't compare. Saying things like "At least you... and... "You're better than... and..." or "Imagine if you were in..." conveys to someone struggling with depression that their mental state is not valid. /p>

Respect the true state of depressed people and thank them for sharing their situation with you. Tell them that you will take care of them in any way you can during the depression period and provide adequate support.

4. "You should be happy/grateful for..."

Telling depressed people that you should be grateful gives them the idea that the reason for their anxiety or depression is that they have not been grateful in some place. Any person may suffer from anxiety, depression or other mental health problems despite being grateful and happy for what they have.

5. "Don't be so hard on yourself." . Joking about a person's condition or making fun of their condition is not only not humorous, but ineffective and unhelpful.

6. "You are too negative"

It is very cruel for a person suffering from depression to hear this sentence. Saying things like "don't be so negative," "you worry too much," or "you're a poor person" to someone who is struggling with depression or anxiety is very rude, and often the person who It describes the sentences it says. These comments show that the person does not have a proper understanding of depression or other mental health illnesses. Mental health illnesses are complex and not just what they seem from the outside.

7. "You are very selfish"

Depression has nothing to do with selfishness and narcissism. A kind and forgiving person can also become depressed. Depression can often be an isolating condition such as withdrawal or social isolation. Selfishness means putting yourself above everyone else, but isolation means withdrawing from others and rejecting yourself before anyone else. For this reason, intervening and standing in the middle during depression can be considered as supporting the person.

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8. "Be strong, don't show yourself so weak"

Sentences like "Be strong" are in the same category as "Don't lose yourself" or "Big people don't cry". It is not fair or correct to equate depression or other mental health problems with being weak. This still conveys the concept that a person can get rid of depression by his own will or the problem is from the person himself.

9. "Be happy, smile more"

Saying "be happy" or "just smile" to a loved one who is depressed gives them the sense that their depression and anxiety is under their control. Keep in mind that depression is a condition in which brain function shows itself in the form of external changes, not the other way around.

Ignoring depression in this way can discourage a person from seeking help and treatment. Not being treated or receiving inappropriate treatment can lead to suicide.

10. "You say you're depressed but you look happy!"

Depression and other mental health problems are not always the same. A person with depression may be smiling all the time and seem happy, but that doesn't mean that's how they really feel inside. To be depressed, it is not necessary that the person looks depressed.

If the person says that he is suffering from depression, believe him and don't ask him to prove his depression to you. Tell him that you didn't know he was going through depression and you don't need to fully understand it to be there for him. We explained how to communicate with a person who is depressed, who is dear to us and we would like to help him. Although you cannot change the situation the person is in, you can express your concern and concern for them with or without words.

After you express your love and support for that person. Give him space to decide whether to accept your support or not. Remember that it depends on the depressed person to accept your support.

This article is for informational purposes only. Be sure to consult an expert before using the recommendations in this article. For more information, read BingMag Disclaimer.

Source: PsychCentral

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