Conflict between the parties is inevitable when it comes to emotional relationships or cohabitation. But it should not hurt or upset people emotionally. From a psychologist's point of view, couples can disagree or even argue with each other while still loving and respecting each other.
Dr. Deborah Grody, Professor of Psychology Johns Hopkins University Clinic believes that married couples who have no conflict are often those whose marriages end in divorce. Because relationships whose flame is completely extinguished and there is no longer any desire on both sides to interact with or improve the relationship are relationships that are often doomed to destruction.
In fact, when one or Both parties are indifferent to their relationship, and arguing is no longer important to them to change the situation.
However, having intense or frequent conflicts in a relationship is certainly not healthy or normal. Psychological research shows that you can have conflicts and conflicts with your partner in a healthy and constructive way that may actually bring you closer together.
Researchers have also found that expressing anger at your partner in In the short term, it causes discomfort, but in the long run, it benefits the relationship and leads to honest conversations.
BingMag Meg provides simple tips that can help you along the way. Join us.
How to fight in life together?
It is almost certain that sooner or later there will be fights and conflicts in every relationship. This usually happens when you and the other person live together or spend a considerable amount of time together. The good news is that getting angry at your partner is perfectly normal and perfectly healthy.
If a fight breaks out, take a deep breath and take a step back. Instead, try the following tips to resolve your differences peacefully.
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Pause before saying anything annoying
when emotionally aroused You feel that the situation may get out of your control at any moment, it seems impossible to think logically before saying anything to the other person. But a short pause before you start talking and complaining will allow you to plan and articulate the conflict more effectively.
A few seconds pause will allow you to avoid a fight. And avoid the tension and think, "How can I tell this to my wife so she can understand what I mean?" This short mental pause will help you to choose a calmer and more peaceful way of dealing with the issue and thus increase the possibility of being heard.
2. Instead of words beginning with the pronoun "you", speak with the words beginning with the pronoun "I"
3. Avoid Insulting and Attacking Each Other's Personality
Unfortunately, arguments between couples can often lead to personal attacks and insults (criticism of each other's personality or appearance), and this is definitely not helpful for your relationship./p>
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4. Focus on the main point instead of insulting the character
If you keep repeating old arguments, or many times And you often argue over similar issues without any solution or compromise, or you are upset about the fact that you are always arguing, this can be a sign of serious problems between you.
One of the factors that usually The result of divorce is that the person constantly attacks his or her spouse's character instead of addressing the main and problematic issues. Instead of insulting the personality, try to identify the source of the problems in the right way and try to solve them.
5. Listen more and talk less
When we argue with someone, we tend to talk more than we listen. We are so eager to express our feelings that we may not even understand what our spouse wants to tell us.
But in fact, the person who has the problem is the one we need to listen to. Instead of trying to recover, they wallow in their sadness and thus, experience more failure. A full-fledged fight will have a more constructive dialogue.
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6. The fact is that what you say and change the way you say it
The fact is that many of us We anticipate the upcoming debates very carefully and know exactly how our spouse responds. Family discussions seem to be well-planned.
If you want to have a more productive discussion, you need to change what you say and how you say it. The important thing is to identify communication barriers in your conversations and conflicts so that you can redesign the discussion and deal with it in a different way.
It is important to respect your argument with respect and kindness. Framework to give your spouse a chance to respond appropriately and effectively.
Resist your desire to avoid arguing
Many couples may hold those feelings to themselves when they are angry with each other because they are afraid of starting arguments that may jeopardize the nature of the relationship. . But studies show that avoiding these conversations actually hurts a relationship more than it does.
Those who think about raising sensitive issues with a loved one should talk about the potential dangers. Compare the potential dangers of not speaking. If you do not state the problems, they will never be solved, and as a result, the problems not only remain, but actually get worse. The biggest mistake is to deceive yourself into thinking that not talking about problems reduces worries, but not in relationships.
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8. Put yourself in your spouse
Another key to dealing effectively with a relationship conflict It is to put yourself in your partner's shoes and find out why he or she is behaving. This will help you to better understand your spouse's behavior.
Do not threaten the other person that you will leave him/her
Allowing all your feelings to come to you may bring you peace of mind, but try as much as you can to threaten your spouse with divorce or divorce. do not do. Whether you mean such threats or not, they can have a lasting effect on the person who hears them and make them feel insecure long after the fight is over.
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10. Never physically or emotionally abuse
According to experts, if you fight with your partner until It has made you feel insecure physically, emotionally or mentally, this is a big red flag for your relationship. Couples' fights are only healthy as long as they are fair and safe.
If you find that you are arguing too much or that your arguments are bothering you, it may be time to seek professional help. . If you feel that everything is over, talk to a family therapist, marriage counselor, or someone you trust as soon as possible. Even if one of the spouses has feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, fear, or any other negative feeling related to the nature of their relationship or cohabitation, it still needs to be addressed.
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Common Mistakes in Conflict
Arguing with your spouse can only help your relationship if it is respectful and avoids humiliating the other party.
When a couple misbehaves And they argue with each other wrongly, they have to wait for the far-reaching consequences of this. Studies have shown that conflicts between couples can lead to anxiety, depression and even eating disorders.
Here are some mistakes to avoid when arguing:
- Tagging each other
- Comparing with other couples
- Engaging children in your arguments
- Losing contact with the other party Conversely for a long time
Similarly, when a fight turns into physical violence, it is a sign of a very unhealthy and destructive relationship. It is always best to leave your partner to maintain your physical and mental well-being and to prevent worse or more destructive behaviors.
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Benefits of arguing in a relationship
Having a fight is a sign that you both care about your relationship. Fighting is an easy way to determine if your partner is with you in the long run. The other person is talking, there are people who are still investing in their relationship and hoping for it. your partner can be exactly what strengthens your relationship in the long run.This is for education and information only. Be sure to consult a specialist before using the recommendations in this article. For more information, read the BingMag Meg Disclaimer .
ways, have, good, fight, your, spouse!