Many parents are used to yelling at their children. Shouting at the baby's head scares them and makes them feel helpless. Experts also say that yelling at a child's head is useless. If you're looking to quit this bad habit, stay tuned to BingMagmg and try these few methods.
Why shouldn't you yell at your child and why is it useless?
Many child care professionals warn that yelling at children's heads has no positive effect on the child's order. Not only does it not work, it can also have devastating effects on a child's psyche. Here are some reasons why you should not yell at your child.
Children do not learn to react or run away
"Escape." In this case, the part of the brain involved in learning does not work.
The response to war or flight is a physiological response that occurs when we experience something that our brain perceives to be threatening. This way, your baby will not be able to learn anything when you yell at him or her because his or her brain tells him or her that the screaming adult is a threat and effectively shuts down other parts of the brain that are not dedicated to protection and defense.
On the other hand, peaceful and calm communication helps the child to feel safe and makes him/her more receptive to the lesson he/she is learning.
By shouting, the child feels worthless Becoming
All people of all ages want to be valuable to others. This feeling is much more in children. When you yell at a child, he/she questions his/her abilities, capabilities and values and loses his/her self-esteem. In fact, yelling at a child's head is the fastest way to feel worthless.
yelling at a child's causes anxiety, depression and low self-esteem
Research has shown that children who The more often they are exposed to their parents' screams, the more likely they are to become anxious and the degree of depression in them increases. In fact, children absorb the anxiety that results from this parental behavior. In addition, the child is more likely to be aggressive. Children imitate their parents' behavior, so if you yell at your child too much, you should expect your child to show signs of aggression.
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Shouting weakens parent-child relationship
Shouting over a child weakens parent-child relationship. This behavior puts you and your child on opposite sides. The child no longer feels as intimate with you as he did in the past. He may even resort to concealment so that he does not receive the same reaction from you.
By shouting, the child feels that the parents are on the other side and are not with the child.>
Shouting at a baby's head is harmful
Numerous studies have shown that screaming harms children. According to these studies, shouting or screaming is recognized as one of the criteria of "violent discipline" at home, and children who are punished in this way will in the future suffer from problems such as poor school performance, behavioral problems and even delinquent behaviors.
Another study found that yelling at children had a similar effect to corporal punishment. Verbal harassment and repeated shouting can even change the way a baby's brain develops.
How to stop yelling at a baby's head?
The screaming of the child's head is caused by the parents' great anger. But anger is not a convincing reason to show any behavior you want to the child. There are several ways you can control your anger and not yell at your child.
Identify your stimuli
Screaming does not happen suddenly. The screaming of a child's head is usually the result of a specific behavior of the child and even the result of worries that parents think about throughout the day. In other words, this shouting must have a motivating factor. If you can identify this stimulus, you are more likely to be able to avoid it.
If other concerns in life make you yell at your child, think about solving them first. For example, if you are a working mother who has a lot of work to do at home, free up your time to reduce your responsibilities and delegate some of it to other people. As a mother, you should not worry about your child's mental health.
Warn children seriously when you feel you are under a lot of pressure and about to get angry. Most of the time, children calm down with a serious warning. Tell them that their behavior makes you angry and you may lose control.
Sometimes you can set deadlines for children. For example, if they hesitate to go to bed, tell them they only have five minutes to finish their game and go to bed. Explain the punishment that awaits them after five minutes. Usually children correct their behavior with these serious threats.
3. Leave the place
One of the best things you can do when you are angry is to leave the place. You can even go somewhere and shout, but never yell at the child. You can try other ways to reduce anxiety and anger. Leaving the place in person can usually be helpful. In addition to leaving, you can do other things; For example, walk outdoors and breathe.
Just take a few minutes away from the environment and do not show any reaction.
4. Take a deep breath
When you get angry, deep breathing helps you gain more control over your behavior. In fact, get angry and take a few deep breaths before you shout so that you can decide more openly on how to punish your child. However, any wrongdoing on the part of the child requires punishment, but not corporal punishment or shouting punishment.
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5. Change your mindset
Sometimes we expect children to behave rationally and wisely. While children are not yet old enough to recognize the right behavior. Every time you feel angry, think that the child is doing something wrong unintentionally. You should not expect him to always act according to your wishes.
Thinking about this trait of the child will make you not get too angry with his behavior.
6. Think about the consequences of your work
Sometimes we do different things because Unaware of the consequences. You may think that shouting at the baby's head is not a problem. Or maybe you have tried this before and got results. But if you think about the consequences of your actions, this will prevent you from being able to shout at your child easily.
As mentioned above, shouting at your child can have many consequences. These unpleasant consequences may be experienced in childhood or even in adulthood. In addition, you may have reached your goal once by shouting, but this will lose its effectiveness if it is repeated repeatedly.
7. Do not threaten the child
Usually when we are angry, we say things that are irrational. You may threaten children when you get angry, and these threats are unrealistic to you and just to scare the child. But children take these threats seriously and they stay in their minds.
So before you say anything to your child, let your anger subside. The words you say when you are angry are insignificant to you, but the children do not forget.
8. Do not teach the child anything
You may think that with anger and shouting, you can teach the child the right thing; But you are wrong. With anger and shouting, children do not learn anything, and even the things you point out to them may do quite the opposite. If you want to teach your child about misbehavior, postpone it until you are not angry.
9. Drink water
Drink water when angry. Drinking water will distract your mind for a few minutes. Drinking water helps you relax for a few minutes so you can think straight.
Define red lines in advance
When you are nervous, this is not a good time to teach creative things to your child. You need to mark your red lines for the child in advance. Explain to him what the consequences of each of his behaviors may be. By setting these red lines, you can usually control children more easily. But if, after each misbehavior, you try to discipline the child by shouting, you get the picture.
When is it okay to shout?
Sometimes it may be necessary to raise your voice to save your child from danger or even to emphasize your anger. In these cases, it is okay if you shout a little but do not forget that repeating a task destroys its effectiveness. In fact, if you want to show the intensity of your anger by shouting, it only works for once or twice.
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Shouting at a child can have many unpleasant consequences for the child's mental health. Knowing these consequences will help you to try harder to control your nerves and not misbehave with your child when you are angry. By using a few strategies, you can control your anger and find more appropriate punishment for your child's misbehavior.
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