It may have occurred to you that you enjoyed meeting someone who
has a good understanding of what you do, but sometimes you think
you are a good listener. you are not. Lack of active listening can
lead to frustration and frustration for those around you,
especially those close to you. Therefore, strengthening this skill
is very important.
Weakness in this skill can also lead to some kind of social isolation. One of the most obvious signs of this weakness is the immediate cessation of conversations you may have with others, or you may know people around you who, as soon as you talk to them, feel the urge to step aside and connect with others./p>
In this article from BingMag, we will introduce you to ten effective and scientific ways to avoid this problem or to identify the problem quickly in the face of it. Join us.
What is active listening?
Recent studies on active listening have confirmed the results of decades of research in this area. According to these studies, "active listening is a mechanism that leads to the establishment of interpersonal relationships and has many positive sensory and cognitive consequences." Listening is a fundamental social behavior and plays a key role in establishing social relationships. Therefore, strengthening this skill is of particular importance for the perception of others.
Listening and Mutual Understanding
According to the scientific findings of behavioral science theorists, active listening promotes mutual understanding. Mutual understanding leads the other person to believe that you understand him or her, and that you value his or her views on the world around him or her. Listening and mutual understanding form a cycle of positive feedback, which in turn has many positive consequences in terms of improving the quality of social relations.
In such situations, the other party does not become anxious in your presence and because of The game space you have created for communication based on mutual understanding does not take on a defensive state. In addition, he is not afraid to make mistakes because he knows that you do not judge too quickly.
Mutual understanding is not about intimate relationships. You may start a conversation with someone you have just met and notice disagreements over controversial issues from the outset, such as the need for vaccination during a coronavirus outbreak. In such a situation, the first and easiest reaction is to express anger. But if you have a little patience and show the audience that you are willing to listen to their opinions, you can expect respectful conversations, even if you do not agree. Given the importance of good listening skills, here are ten ways to become a better listener.
10 ways to become a better listener
Now that you know the importance of this skill You are, you may be wondering what are the ways to become a better listener? Behavioral researchers have identified ten methods that they use to measure their understanding and listening skills. These methods are divided into two categories: "spoken" and "practical".
First, we will deal with spoken methods. Applying these methods is a testament to the professional understanding of the other party.
1. Provide Reflection: By summarizing what the other person is saying, you are reassuring them that you fully understand what they mean.
2. Asking a question: Asking questions that are often accompanied by a "yes" or "no" answer paves the way for the conversation and shows the audience that you are not tired of hearing.
3. Validation: By validating the important points that the other party has in mind, you show them that you have a comprehensive understanding of the situation.
4. Encouragement to continue: By using simple words such as "they" or "well" you encourage the other party to continue.
5. Use the other party's name: Occasionally say the other party's name to show that you hear and understand what they are saying. And validation requires more effort than other cases.
Using behaviors shows that you are in control of the situation and your attention is focused on the other party's career. These methods are as follows.
6. Pay attention to facial expressions: Let your face express emotions such as interest, empathy, and curiosity.
7. Shake your head: Occasionally show your interest in listening by shaking your head in approval. This is especially effective at critical moments in the conversation.
8. Attention to body posture: Adjust your posture so that you are facing the other side. By doing this, you show him that you are following his words carefully.
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9. Paying attention to the way you look: Maintaining eye contact with the other party has a tremendous effect on inducing a sense of mutual understanding.
10. Be silent: Be silent while the other person is talking and do not interrupt constantly. Of course, whenever you have an idea to improve the situation, express it politely.
The positive effect of active listening on relationships
Researchers have achieved good results in studies that focus on active listening in relation to mutual understanding. Actively listening makes positive behavioral changes that encourage the other person to talk about themselves and achieve higher levels of interpersonal intimacy. The importance of improving this skill is doubled when it comes to long-term close relationships. Researchers even believe that in emotional relationships, love alone is not enough to achieve the desired results, and mutual attention and understanding should be the spice.
How to be a better listener?
1. Submit your comments and suggestions
Good listeners are constantly giving feedback to their opponent. This behavior may occasionally upset the audience and give them the feeling that the listener is looking for a solution instead of listening, but the fact is that people are more inclined to ask for opinions than people who are better listeners. Someone who is completely silent during a conversation and suddenly starts commenting seems more unreliable than someone who is constantly looking for effective solutions.
2. Challenge your opponent
Ask your audience questions from time to time that, while challenging their established ideas, also come up with a constructive solution. Ask him to give you more information and turn the conversation into a dialogue to reduce the dryness of the "speaker versus listener".
How to pave the way for active listening?
- Choose a topic of conversation that is as interesting to both parties as possible strong>
Choosing the right topic helps to start a conversation and get to know the other person. This can be related to current social, economic or political issues.
- Be a good role model for active listening
Communicate with someone who is not a good listener, be a good listener to indirectly teach active listening.
- Ability to end the conversation
Remember that if the other party does not want to hear at all, there is no reason for you to continue the conversation. Being able to finish a conversation when needed is also a skill.
You do not have to be a good listener to absorb all the other side's professionalism like a sponge. Instead, try to play the role of a trampoline for the other party's opinion, and by expressing your ideas, show him that not only have you heard what he has to say, but that you have something new to offer. Remember that enhancing active listening skills in all areas of social life is an asset to you and helps you gain a more comprehensive view of your surroundings.
Sources: Psychologytoday, Verywellmind
Tags: ways, better, listener