You have probably heard of many ways to raise your child and have tried different ways to gain their children's respect and vocation. But if you are not very successful in this, do not worry! Many parents like you have these worries.
First you need to know that one of the main reasons children do not speak is their parents' anger and tiredness. Do not forget to be patient and calm to get what you want.
Most parents get angry when talking to their stubborn child, and the anxiety and frustration on their face is quite obvious. Children are smarter than you think. When parents talk to a child in a bad mood, he or she will be in a situation of war or flight and stubbornness to escape the insecure situation in which he or she finds himself or herself. It just makes things harder.
In the continuation of this article from Digi Kala Mag, we review ten other important points about increasing respect and ways to encourage children to listen, and at the end we will discuss these points with We compare our daily behaviors with those of our children. So stay tuned.
Pay attention to these points first
For children to speak, try to be calm and pay attention to these three important points:
Long conversations and boring advice not only have no effect on the child, but also reduce the importance of your speech. So briefly remind him of the important points.
Do not ask or give orders
"Get your clothes right away "Collect." Or "Please, baby, is it not possible for you to pack your clothes?"; Either way, hearing these sentences makes you less likely to hear children speak. Use decisive and respectful expression instead of this type of sentence.
Focus on the children
If your child is sitting in front of the TV and you are screaming from another room to do their homework, it will most likely not work because the child is focusing on watching TV. Instead, divert your thinking to good things in life, and when you feel confident, repeat what you want.
It is interesting to know that children need a relationship from birth where they feel valued. . Parents' behavior and speech from childhood form a picture of these values in the child's mind. Respect children
If you express your disrespectful demands, you can not expect children to respect and listen to you. Even if your child is forced to accept your word in such a situation, you should know that you have taken the wrong approach.
Base your relationship on mutual respect. In such cases, children will listen to you respectfully and willingly.
You can also express your requests in polite and impersonal ways. For example, instead of saying, "Fat boy, hurry up and eat your lunch." Point to the clock: "My son, it is 2 o'clock and it is time for lunch." In this situation, there will be no dissatisfaction between you and your child and he will not be upset with you for making the law (he may be a little upset about how soon time has passed).
2. Do not shout
You can raise your voice and remind him by shouting that you should Listen to you; But will this really work? Definitely not. You may get what you want for a short time, but your relationship will have major problems in the long run.
Screaming conveys a sense of worthlessness to the child. In this regard, the child feels that he has been disrespected and does not care about his parents, so he will not hear from you after a while. So forget this method.
Be aware of these subtle points; Never try to show your children that you are in control of them by shouting. Children enjoy freedom of action in decision-making, so give your child a sense of power and dominance by giving him or her a few choices that will gradually reduce his or her resistance to you.
3. Use the Golden Rule
"Let others do what you like for yourself." Just follow this golden rule. If you want your children to speak up and be respected, you need to be respectful. When talking to your children, be kind and calm and use loving words instead of blame. Kindness, love, and respect, when combined with authority in a relationship, make your child listen to you and behave respectfully.
Imagine you go to the store with your child and you are in a hurry to buy. But unlike you, your child plays in the store, heads to different shelves and chooses from among his favorite foods without haste. How do you react in such a situation? Getting kids to talk sounds like hard work in some situations, doesn't it?
Remember that kids are learning and emulating you. Keep calm and remind the child in the right tone that you only have a few minutes. Definitely, with a little practice and effort, you will be able to cope well with these difficult situations.
4. Pay attention to what you say
Mutual respect is the first and most important step to attract It pays attention to children and strengthens their vocabulary. If the child feels that you care about him or her and that you express your wishes respectfully, he or she will listen to you. But you have to pay attention to one important point: do what you say!
For example, if you ask your child not to knock on the sofa while watching a TV show, or turn down the TV volume, but he He continues to work, it is better to tell him that if he does not listen to you, he will be banned from watching TV for half an hour. Have you ever tried this method?
Most parents use this method to convince their children, but many of them still do not succeed in getting their children to speak. But where is the problem?
You are not assertive and do not stick to your career
Do you want to convince the child by setting a logical condition? For example, tell him that if he does not do his homework, you will stop going to a party tonight. But to what extent are you on your word? Are you willing to cancel a party if your child does not listen to you? You will only listen to children when they know you are doing what you say.
You get angry very quickly
If you want to convince your child to do or not do something, Not to be angry. It is enough to calmly and respectfully remind him of the consequences of not listening to you. If he remembers that he was banned from playing with the tablet the day before for not paying attention to you, he will definitely take you seriously and stop being stubborn.
5. Be reasonable
Have you ever seen parents force their children into big, impossible threats? Can they talk? Sometimes parents think that the bigger the threat, the more likely it is that the child will stop behaving. It is better to forget this irrational method because big threats that you will never act on will make all your words meaningless.
For example, if you have asked the child several times not to do something but he still insists, Think of a logical punishment. Consider your own circumstances to earn the respect and vocation of children at home. For example, do not say, "I throw away all your toys." You certainly do not.
If, with such a threat, the child continues to work, are you willing to forgo the many expenses you have incurred for the toys and throw them all away? Or maybe change your punishment at this moment? How do you think the child reacts to our irrational threats that change easily and never materialize?
Speak briefly and effectively
You can use the "one-question" method to teach vocabulary to children. In this way, you only give the child a chance to listen to you, otherwise, without a preposition, you immediately implement the desired punishment.
Consider this example: Ask your child To put his dishes in the sink after eating so he can see the continuation of his favorite cartoon. But he does not pay attention to what you say. There is no need to repeat in this situation, it is enough to say: "Sorry baby, you lost watching TV." You need to teach him that not listening to you is not so easy.
Important Note: Do not forget mutual respect, calmness and rationality. We suggest you review the above points again to implement the "single-question" method.
7. Focus your attention on the children
When you talk to your child about doing something, look him in the eyes and focus all your attention on him. Under these circumstances, children are much more likely to hear each other.
If parents are playing with their cell phones and yelling at their children to do their homework at the same time, they are unlikely to respond well. It is better to put aside your work, approach him and express your request in a serious but calm tone. Look into your child's eyes and say, "It's time to do your homework, turn off the TV." "After doing your homework, you are allowed to watch TV again." You will get better results when you show the child that you value him and that all your attention is on him and his work.
8. Take care of your child with your behavior and speech
How you talk to your child and with what Asking him to listen to you is very important. Children love to be noticed by you. So show this in your behavior and speech.
Always look for better alternatives to your sentences. For example, instead of saying angrily, "You were supposed to set the dinner table 5 minutes ago!", It is better to try these sentences: "Baby, you are setting the dinner table very tastefully. I like to do this together every night and have a beautiful table. "Let's start tonight."
When you show your attention to the child, you will have a more intimate and lasting relationship, so the children will listen to you with interest. So to achieve your goal, reconsider your behavior and speech a little and show them your love and care.
9. Value Children
Children 's vocabulary and their sense of worth are closely related. Children should always feel valued by their parents. But what are some ways parents can create this feeling in their child?
Try these suggested ways:
- Physical affections Don't forget to hug.
- Look at their work with interest.
- Make eye contact and smile when talking to children.
- Praise at least one positive point in your child's behavior every day. )
- When your child is scared, reassure them that there is no problem.
- Support your child when he is upset.
- Once a day Have a special time to spend with your child and do not let anything spoil this time.
- Answer him every time the child talks to you and do not leave his questions unanswered.
- Ask him questions about what happened during the day and wait for him to talk to you.
10. Be a good role model
Children are the first and foremost role model. From an early age, children watch their parents as role models and learn the etiquette of talking and treating others. So as a parent, be more sensitive about your behavior and speech.
If a parent does not speak respectfully to their parents, disobey the rules, and act contrary to what they say, the children will hear what they have to say. It is very far from expected. So teach your child to behave properly in practice.
Do children listen to us with these tips?
There are many ways to get your children to listen. You may be able to force your children to follow you with strictness. But at what price? Is your children's eloquence acceptable to you out of compulsion?
You know that these methods not only do not work for a long time, but also have a devastating effect on parent-child relationships. In dry and harsh ways, with carelessness, disrespect and shouting, you will soon have a child who can no longer be controlled!
Take a pen and paper right now and repeat your repetitive sentences in situations where children Write inconsistencies. Which sentences should you change? Is there a better solution for your previous methods?
You can use the advice in this article and try your best to gain the respect and vocabulary of children with the knowledge you have of your child.